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Yes, you read that right, you’ll be proposing marriage to your boyfriend*. You take control of every other aspect of your life and do it on your own terms, so why not this?

Everyone hears that story about a woman who spends years being twisted into knots with anxiety over whether or not their partner is going to propose, and deep down we’re thinking, “why not just ask him instead”?

We say go for it, leap years be damned, and we’ve got some advice for you on how and why.


You get control, and you don’t go crazy

If you’re living in hope that your significant other is going to pop the question, it can be excruciating. Latching on to unusual behaviour as a sign they’re planning a proposal, then getting annoyed when they don’t propose, then feeling like a crazy person for being annoyed. It’s insanity no one deserves.

You will be badass

Instead of going nuts with waiting, or turning into a stereotypical nagging girlfriend pestering a boyfriend to propose, you’re actively doing the work for yourself. Be the main character of your story, not just the love interest.

We’re living in a different era

While some people enjoy the traditional gender roles of the near past, we’re living in a time when a lot of wedding and marriage traditions are falling by the wayside as increasingly impractical and unwelcome parts of marriage. Why should marriage proposals be so different?


Make sure they won’t mind

Up to 70% of men wouldn’t have their noses put out of joint if their girlfriends proposed the marriage, but it’s possible your boyfriend is in the 30% who are invested in proposing themselves. Put the feelers out, get an idea of where they are on the subject (like perhaps sharing this article on Facebook…).

Account for their tastes

Like men typically do for women, consider their personality, interests, and the history of your relationship when coming up with a proposal strategy. Employ places, films, objects and music with significance and prepare a little something to say to your partner. This part is as intensely personal to your relationship as it would be if he was proposing to you.

Break free from tradition

You’re already in largely uncharted waters here, so there’s no need to limit yourself to any other traditions, like a ring. A cool pocket knife, a watch, or some cufflinks would make a great substitute. A lot of people see rings as a very expensive hangover from a different period with very different ideas towards marriage.

Overcome fear

Deciding to propose is going out on a limb. Yes, you’re proposing to someone you love and know better than anyone else, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. This feeds back into the whole “you being a badass” part from earlier; acknowledge that it’s scary, do it anyway, feel amazing about it.

Anticipate anything

You can’t prepare for everything, but you can prepare for anything. Don’t build up an idea of how your boyfriend, family or friends will react: it’s a fast track to being let down when it doesn’t go quite how you imagined. There’s no right way to do anything like this, so don’t worry about whether or not it’s perfect, just do your best.

*Note: The majority of our blog readers are heterosexual women, which reflects this article’s choices in used pronouns, we hope you don’t take any offence to that decision, as we certainly wouldn’t intend it.

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